Hulu’s Virgin Dating Show Is a Wild Concept, But “Sex Sells — or the Lack of It,” Say Kaitlyn Bristowe and Colton Underwood

Hulu’s Virgin Dating Show Is a Wild Concept, But “Sex Sells — or the Lack of It,” Say Kaitlyn Bristowe and Colton Underwood

Are You My First?isn’t Kaitlyn Bristowe or Colton Underwood’s first time stepping into the spotlight of a reality television show. 

However, it marks the debut of the two former Bachelor Nation leads co-hosting a series together, one that’s a first-of-its-kind show. Are You My First? enlists the “hottest group of virgins ever assembled search for intimacy, love — and maybe their first…” time having sex. 

It’s a wild concept for a dating show, though reality TV isn’t foreign to unique structures, and neither are Bristowe or Underwood. Bristowe led The Bachelorette in 2015 before temporarily co-hosting the series for a few seasons. Meanwhile, Underwood’s virginity was the main storyline during his leading spin on The Bachelor in 2019, and two years later, he came out as gay.

Below, the two Bachelor franchise alumni reflect on the outlandish premise of Are You My First?, if they think their varying relationships with sex made them the perfect candidates to host the show and Underwood’s upcoming run on The Traitors season four. 

***

There have always been unique reality TV show ideas, and Are You My First? is no exception. When this offer to host a reality dating show with a cast full of virgin singles was brought to you both, what was your reaction? Did you hesitate at all?

KAITLYNBRISTOWE Zero hesitation from me. I just was wondering why, as someone who is very open about having sex in their life and in relationships, I was asked to be part of a show about virginity. But once I heard about the concept and I knew Colton was a part of it, he had zero hesitation. It was kind of what you said, like there’s always these outlandish concepts for shows, and it was one of those things that Colton and I both thought, How is this the first time we’re doing this show?  

UNDERWOOD When I first heard about the project, I immediately called my team and said, “I want to be involved in some way, shape, form or fashion.” It’s a full-circle moment for me back on what I would call my home network of ABC, Disney, Hulu. I was at a point in my life where I was in a really good position to feel like I was capable of stepping back in front of the camera and letting people in, and also be there for the cast. Kaitlyn and I both took on a lot of responsibility, and we both still are very protective over them because we’ve been in their shoes before. We know what they’re gonna go through.

You’re both former leads from the Bachelor world, and you’ve both had very contrasting relationships with sex on the show. Do you think that’s why you both were selected to host Are You My First?, specifically as a duo?

BRISTOWE I’m sure that’s part of it. And then I have experience with hosting, and I’ve always wanted to be a part of a show in a hosting role. I think maybe they were like, “Well, Kaitlyn could step in for the advice if they choose to, you know, have their first.”

UNDERWOOD Kaitlyn is so humble, too, but I think the show only works with co-hosts. I think understanding and having a male and a female point of view is so important for a show like this. I am not qualified or equipped to have some of the conversations that Kaitlyn was having with some of the women, and I think she would say vice versa. It was really a no-brainer once we got on camera together. We’re just like, “Oh, this is it. This is us.” And we knew what had to be done in the job that we were hired to do. 

What was your initial reaction when you did learn that it was going to be both of you, Colton and Kaitlyn, co-hosting together?

UNDERWOOD Pumped.

BRISTOWE We’ve always loved each other. I told Colton I had a crush on him before I knew he was gay. And sometimes I had to remind myself that while we were filming, because I just love him so much. I’m like, “He’s gay, Kaitlyn. Married, with a baby!” 

UNDERWOOD And then [my husband] Jordan showed up to set, and she’s like, “Oh yeah, right.”

BRISTOWE “Okay, back off.” But it was a testament to our chemistry. 

UNDERWOOD Once we had the conversation when Kaitlyn was there, I was like, This is it. We have such similarities in our stories, but our stories are so different that we really were like that perfect combination to help balance the cast and take them through this experience.

Why do you think that virginity is such a narrative storyline in reality TV shows, especially coming from the Bachelor Nation world?

BRISTOWE Virginity and having sex is such a topic. You’re kind of in the situation where if you talk about sex, it’s like, Whoa, and then if you have never had sex, people are like, Whoa — it’s very polarizing. That always makes for good conversation — or in this case, good TV. It’s a conversation that we all try to shy away from, but in this generation and where we’re at in life, it’s becoming more of a topic of how important it is to talk about and to be accepting of people’s choices.

UNDERWOOD “Sex sells,” or the lack of it — people are going to be interested in it. And it’s always something that I’ve played with, of not really fully understanding, especially as somebody who was a virgin and that storyline consumed and took over my life and my season. So many people have so many opinions on sex, and at the end of the day, they all have it or consume it in some way, shape, form or fashion. I think it’s time for us to try to keep destigmatizing it and having these conversations in these honest and authentic shows.

Kaitlyn, you co-hosted [Katie’s season of] The Bachelorette, so when you saw the cast, what was running through your mind when you realized that a contestant from that season was going to be on Are You My First?

BRISTOWE I had heard rumblings that [Mike] was coming on. I was just so excited, because he is such a genuine human who really is looking for the right person. I know him obviously from Katie’s season, and I’ve talked to him after and he was such a perfect addition to the show. He was able to not only come in as a virgin, but also be like, “I’ve talked about my virginity on national television,” which made them feel even more safe and secure and and bonded over that. He’s a good one. 

What did you take from your time co-hosting The Bachelorette and how did you apply that to Are You My First?

BRISTOWE What I loved on Bachelorette… that’s such a structured role that’s been around for however many seasons that show has been on. It’s always been the same format where you come in, say your lines — “It’s the final rose.” But there were moments hosting that show that I got to actually sit down and have way more humanizing conversations with the lead. I was like, Wait, shows need more of this. It felt so good to host but also be able to be a real person and not feel like a robot, and that’s what I took into Are You My First? Colton didn’t really have anything to compare it to, and he naturally just did that anyways. We both got to go in and have a little more realness and shared experiences with the cast. I took a lot of things I learned professionally from Bachelorette, but I also took that little piece of being a mentor.

UNDERWOOD It was more of a collaborative effort on Are You My first? I have nothing to compare this to, but in my conversations with Kaitlyn, we also had a relationship with our showrunner, Peter Geist. He was a producer on her Bachelorette season and on my Bachelor season, so he had this trust and natural chemistry with us. We were very involved with knowing where the show was going, who was coupling with who. We were invested as hosts, but also from a human level of wanting the best out of them. There was a lot of trust we had with each other, and also with the production team.

BRISTOWE Collaborative feels like such a good word, Colton. That’s so true, it really was.

UNDERWOOD We were in hair and makeup before we’d go on and be like, “I’m changing this. You should say this. I’m gonna say that.” That’s also what we’re good at: “No, this line is not [for me], that’s a Kaitlyn thing, she’s so much better at this. Let her take this.” 

Colton, you haven’t specifically hosted a show, but you have been the lead of The Bachelor, so what did you learn from that that you applied into the hosting of Are You My First?

UNDERWOOD It’s a fine balance, because when you are the lead, you understand you’re making a television show and you have this responsibility to hit your marks, say the right things, be polished, but you also need to be present. You need to understand some of the women on your show are not comfortable yet with the cameras and you are, and you have this experience under your belt. That was sort of our role as hosts, too, to disarm them in saying, “Yo, we’re not here to get you. This isn’t a ‘got you’ type of show. Like, we really want you to lean in. We want you to trust us.” We were available 24/7, and we told them that too. We’re like, “If you need to pull us in the middle of the night to go have a conversation because someone is not sure what’s going on, or they need to talk to us on or off camera, we’re available.” That was also important for us. We’ve been in their shoes, we know how daunting this is.

Speaking of reality TV experience, Colton, you’re going to be on the upcoming season of The Traitors. What was your experience like filming that competitive reality show, and what can you tease about season four?

UNDERWOOD As a contestant, it was one of the best shows that I’ve ever done. It was so much fun. I’m just naturally such a competitive person. Alan Cumming is in a league of his own, as far as a host and commanding a room and taking control of that castle. It is going to be an electrifying season. I think that people are really in for a treat, and from somebody now who’s doing more hosting and producing, it’s going to be some of the best television that people have ever seen. 

Kaitlyn, hopefully we’ll see you on season five.

UNDERWOOD Hey, I’m hoping! She needs to do it, she would crush.

BRISTOWE [Fingers crossed] I’m also competitive. And I’m like, it’s not about dating and it’s competitive — put me in coach! 

UNDERWOOD And the drama is not personal, it is about the game and strategy. That’s what I loved about it.

***

All 10 episodes of Are You My First? are now streaming on Hulu.